Equinics 2016 – ASR STORMS BRAZIL

6:30 am in a dark hotel room:


Pssst.. ”Hey Tommy!”  “Where the heck are we?”

“In Brazil mate!”.   “What the heck are we doing here, and how the heck did we get here?”

“We all flew over last night on Deserdog’s plane, he piloted”, “you don’t remember?” “I guess that’s why you had Dirks Bentley playing I’m drunk on a plane the whole flight over”

“Heck no mate, why the hell are we in Brazil bud?”

“The Equinics is here mate, we have to pass the torch”

“Who came over with us?”  “The whole crew is here”

“Do you have any coffee bud?”  “no, but I do have some tea!” “Forget your damn tea bud, I need a coffee!”

“Did we bring the horses over as well?” “Yes mate, they are all in their stables resting under the security of Desertdog, since he had to fly the plane and was the only non-toxicated person.”

“What are the plans for today?” “ We are all meeting in the banquet hall for breakfast at 8:00am., except for Emmy and her clan.” “Why isn’t Emmy and JD going to be there?” When the people of Brazil found out that Emmy was coming, they ask her to be the keynote speaker.” Keynote speaker for what?” I dunno mate, something to do with the fallacies of the Zika virus.”  “Then Kirby has us lined up at some Brazilian hotspot that he is insisting that everyone must go. He said” it’s a bucket list necessity”


“Ok bud, wake me at 7:45, my head is pounding!”




Smoke, get up mate!” “Damn Tommy, 5 more minutes” “Come on Smoke we have to set the example for the team.”. “Yeah, some start we’re off to with that.”




Jacklad and Smoke make their way to the rented out banquet hall. In the distant backround the song of “Wild Rover” can be heard.


“Who the freak is playing that, that loud this early in the a.m.?”  “Dunno mate, could be a handful of them.” “Just what I need with a pounding headache”


As we enter the room, it was great to see so many faces again from 2 years ago. We also got to meet 4 members who we hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.


“Smoke, maybe you should take that Mic and address the crew and what is going to unfold for the big event.” “Damn Tommy, I would ask you to do, but no one would understand a darn word you say. May as well ask Fernando to do!” “Ok bud, I’ll go up there now”


“ Welcome ASR family to the big event known as the Equinics! It’s a blast to see everyone here collectively. Last year we did a great job in finishing 2nd to GRS in our very first try, and we look to reverse the course this year. We have lost a couple of the older warriors in battle, but feel excited about the newer soldiers that the team has. A few ground rules, if I may team. 2 years ago, we were escorted out of Sochi by military personnel. So a few rules if we can heed them please. Curfew is going to be set at 1:00 a.m..  ( A loud boooo comes from the hall tables). Yes I’m sorry to be the bearer of this news, but we must try to represent ourselves in our best fashion for the biggest day of the year. What we or us do back at the hotel after that is all fair game. Kirby, knowing Brazil and the beaches real well, has been kind enough to set reservations at all the restaurants for the week. Im afraid to ask what else he has set up. Anyway gang, it’s great to see everyone here, and we all know what time it is. Let’s get her done ASR!” (cheers now dominate along with fist poundings on the table).


Smoke, now goes around to sit at each table and catch up with the rez mates.


“Hey old man Marmac, what’s up bud? How’s your damn boring retired life going?” “aghh Smoke, think my wife keeps me busier with the honey-do list than the damn newspaper did” “great to see you again bud, the original member of the ASR team”  “Damn Mark, a Rob-Roy already?” “ Yeah Smoke, I’m here to get down for the week” “Alright Mark, we still have a long day and week ahead of us.” “ You worry about others here, damn I been doing before some of these kids have been born”. “ Alright Marmac, good to see you here and I promise to get down to Cocoa Beach soon.”

“Hey Taz, how are you old mate?”  “Good Smoke, great to be here again. Sorry I haven’t been around much, I lost the damn password for the Rez!” “all good bud, glad you’re back in the rez chat. I see you haven’t missed a beat by breeding 200 horses is a day last week” “You know me Smoke, I’ll get the urge and then can’t stop”. “Well good to have you back bud, we missed ya”




“Hey Baffert, great to see you again, how is everything?” “All good Smoke now that my pocket is 200 dollars heavier”.  “Nice bud, how did you get?”  “Smoke you don’t remember?” “No Mike, I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”  “We had a $200 wager on a hot race I the plane last night and I beat you”  “What….? How the heck did we have a hot race in a plane, there’s no wi-fi on planes?!”

“Desert’s plane is all decked out, he has that special internet device where he can get service at 3000 feet.” “Damn Mike, that’s messed up! Oh well, good to see you here bud, saw you brought a few nice pones along”


“Hey Rharfo, how’s it going old buddy?” “Good Smoke, good to see you again after that debacle we caused in Sochi.” “ Yeah mate definitely. So I hear you are now as horse owner?, That’s awesome.”  “Yeah Smoke, excited about the prospect, even though her trial run was average. I think they were saving her for the next race.” “Anymore damn hospital visits lately bud? Think you’ve had your share for a few years worth.”  “Nope, all good, healing up and ready to roll!” Well Roscoe, great to see my old friend again!” “You too Smoke, btw we have card game starting at 1:30 am at the hotel due to your damn time restrictions”. “I’ll be there bud; sorry about the restrictions, but you remember how 2 years ago went. What are we playing, 5 card or 7?” “nah Smoke, we’re playing Acey Duecey”  “Aghh hell no Roscoe, count me out!”


“Que Tal me amigo?” “Bien Smoke, y tu?”  “All is well besides this damn headache Fernando” “Que, que?” “ Umm never mind Fernando, great to see you here in your neck of the woods. Are you familiar with Brazil?” “Si, si mucho. Brazil es muy bueno” “What bud?”  A fist pound and Smoke says I’ll see you at the track me hermano.


“Well hello sole lady of the residency, how are you doing?” “I’m doing fabulousness Jimmy, thanks.” “What have you been up to lately girl?” “ Went to this killer wrestling match the other day in Orlando, it was awesome! You know shooting my guns on the range and taking my daughter to Disney; the usual motherly stuff.”  “That’s awesome, hmm,hmm, did you say shooting guns Crystal?” “ Yeah you know target practice stuff, I have a glock, a smith and weston, and”…”hold on Crystal, what language are you talking?” “ Aghh Smoke, don’t make a big deal of”. “well Crystal it’s great to see you again, and I hope you left the guns home!”


Hey Selurnivek, how all going bud? “Good Jimmy, just want to keep winning the guess the number contest every time!”  Yes, what is it with you and that thing, do you have a crystal ball?” “Nah Smoke, it’s all about probability!”  “Well Kevin riddle me this then. When the hell is my headache going to dissipate?”  Aghh, have a drink, you’ll be fine.  “No ty, what got us in trouble 2 years ago bud. “ Good to see you Kevin


Hey Josh, what’s up bud?!  “Same ol’ Smoke, ready to kick some butt! Hey did you see Mike and I gambling on plane last night?” Yeah Smoke, I got you for 100 too”  “Damn, what the heck Hobby, you’re supposed to have my back”  “No worries bud, we all had a great flight over.”


Anyway, as the evening progressed of course the ASR clan got into some minor trouble with the local authorities.


All jokes and kidding aside, ASR is glad to be here in a great, fun day where residencies get together to show their stars, camaraderie and sportsmanship! It will be a blast of a day, and we all look to having a great Sim Saturday. Best of luck to all the trainers of their respective horses, and to their residency they will be representing!


Enjoy all!


The ASR Team.